Now, why start a blog you ask?
I had a little meltdown the other day. I think it is very easy for stay at home or in my case stay at hotel mothers to feel unappreciated and for lack of a better word, useless. This was me. I felt like it was my fault that we were here. That if I had finished my degree like I was supposed to then we wouldn't have to go to such extreme measures to make a decent living for our family. As he always does, my sweet husband reminded me that this was not true. See, we could make a fine living at home, but my husband is always pushing for more. It's what I love so much about him. He never settles for just getting by. He wants our family to not just do okay, he wants us to flourish and have all we could ever dream of.
And traveling the country and seeing such incredible places I had no clue even existed is definitely a plus.
However, I still needed something to make me feel connected. Part of the outside world. But I have no extraordinary talents. I'm a decent cook but that ain't happening when I don't have access to a stove or oven at this point. I can't sing, I'm not Holly Homemaker who can make candles and gourmet cupcakes and virtually anything seen on Pinterest. I'm a pretty simple gal really.
So what talents do I have? I don't know. Really.
Then he asks me, what do you love to do? What do you have passion for? Drawing a blank again.
I love my family. I love God. I love being a mom.
But those are givens to me. What did I have passion for? Nothing. Seriously. Isn't that scary?
I used to have a passion for so many things. Dance, fashion, learning. And you guessed it again, writing! But since I don't have the next bestseller creeping around in my thoughts, what could I write? My thoughts down on paper? Nahhh, I'd much rather put them on the Internet for everyone to dissect and criticize. Laugh out loud. Not really. But I found that it is a way to keep myself accountable, by keeping a daily log, a diary if you will. And alas, my passion has resurfaced that easily. You see, I didn't lose my passion, it was just hiding. Waiting for me to embrace it again.
My husband also said to me "You always seem like you're just waiting for something to happen. Like one day you'll wake up and be able to do some incredible thing you couldn't before. It doesn't work that way. You have to just go out there and do it. It may be for nothing. But that doesn't matter. If it made you happy, does it matter that it was pointless?"
Who knew I had married a philosopher? But he was incredibly right. I was waiting. And when you wait, you waste.
So, what's your passion? Are you embracing it? Or is it hiding, waiting for you to grab it again? Don't wait for life, just go out there and live it.
Life is short. Find what moves you. And if you can't, dig a little deeper. It's there, I promise.